Where Does It Say You've Gotta Live And Die Here?
by xiexiegirl
Summary: There's a reason Dalton is so insistent on conformity. If every student is the same, no one notices if a student or two  or twelve  goes missing.


**Title:** Where Does It Say You've Gotta Live And Die Here?  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers (If any):** Special Education  
**Warnings (If any):** Murder, violence, minor character and OC deaths, implications and mentions of cannibalism, non-graphic mentions of sex  
**Word Count:** 4000+  
**Summary:** There's a reason Dalton is so insistent on conformity. If every student is the same, no one notices if a student or two (or twelve) goes missing.  
**Author's Notes:** First, **read the warnings**. I can not stress this enough. Don't like, don't read. Second, title taken from the most under-rated movie-musical of all time, _Newsies_. Beta'd by **fleurdelisee** on LJ.

**Please note that this fic has been on livejournal since December.** If it looks familiar to you, that is why. You might have read it before. I'm simply backing it up on .

* * *

Kurt doesn't realize there's anything wrong with Dalton (aside from the need for conformity) until about two weeks after he transfers. That's when a student goes missing.

Arthur Andrews, a sophomore with a talent for French, and a flair for drama, never shows up for breakfast. When lunch comes and he is still a no-show, his roommate starts worrying.

Blaine shows up in the commons while Arthur's friends are panicking, as well-pressed and spotless as ever, and tells them all not to worry. Arthur had been caught sneaking into the administration building and attempting to hack into the computer system. As that broke about twelve different rules, he was expelled. No one questioned about the rule-breaking. Arthur had always been something of a trouble student.

His roommate, Jeremy, asks him why Arthur hasn't contacted him. Blaine explains that his parents felt it best that he leave the school with minimal fuss and contact with other students.

Kurt doesn't bother wasting the energy to try and fake belief. When he breaks into Arthur and Jeremy's room later, he finds Arthur's side wiped clean. Nothing, not even a hair left behind.

That's when he spots the small smear of blood. It stops sharply, doesn't even fade out, and when Kurt brushes his hand against the wall panels, he finds they move and reveal a staircase.

Everything in Kurt is screaming for him to not go down there, that it's like a bad horror movie, and that it won't end well. Kurt shakes off those feelings and steps into the staircase, closing the wall behind him.

It's pitch black, but Kurt finds a light switch to his left and flips it on. The trail of blood continues down the stairs and Kurt follows it down until he gets to what he assumes is the door to the basement. He opens it and hears a muttered _shit!_ that sounds disconcertingly like David. Kurt darts into the shadows before he can be seen.

_"Be quiet, David! Do you want to be found?"_ Another voice (Wes', he realizes) scolds. Then Kurt hears Blaine's voice.

_"If someone's there, which I know you are, step into the light. **Now**."_ Blaine commands. Kurt steels himself and steps out. "Ah, Kurt, I knew you'd end up here eventually." Blaine gestures to the room they're in and Kurt notices the body for the first time. It's Arthur. Or was, anyway.

His eyes are closed and his throat's been slit. He's missing his clothes and Kurt wonders why for a moment before he notices the large, old-fashioned meat grinder a few feet away. He swallows against the urge to gag. And the urge to run.

"Blaine," Kurt begins. His voice isn't as shaky as he thought it'd be, something he's immensely thankful for. "What the _hell_ is going on?" Blaine gives him a smile that has the part of Kurt's brain that's still babbling about horror movies start screaming that he needs to get out of there _now_.

"This," Blaine pauses to gesture at the room they're in and Kurt notices it's stone rather than the wood that seems to occupy most of the school. He also notices that Wes and David are standing behind him like they're expecting him to bolt at any moment. "This is Dalton Academy's dirty little secret. I'm currently in charge of the operation, and Wes and David help me out with the more difficult assignments. You see, every year, Dalton appoints a senior to run this, so that, in case we're caught, they've got a scapegoat. And, as the senior in charge, I get to decide where the extra funds go since we're saving them so much money."

At Kurt's confused look, Blaine gestures to the door behind David. Kurt blanches and takes a step backward. The door's sign reads "kitchens".

"_No_." The horrified whisper escapes before he can stop himself. Blaine's easy smile turns into a grim look.

"I was afraid of this." He whispers, closing his eyes and hiding his face in one of his hands while gesturing for Wes and David to prevent Kurt from running with the other. "Alright, Kurt, I like you and I want your time at Dalton to go smoothly, so you've got three options. One, Wes and David give you a bump on the head, dump you in your bed, and you chalk this up to a nightmare."

"What are my other options?"

"Number two, this never leaves this room and neither do you." Kurt gulps and twitches. Blaine gives him an amused smirk and continues. "Number three, you join us." Blaine produces an antique razor from his pocket and holds it out. Kurt smirks and puts on his best Ice Queen persona.

"This is all very Sweeney Todd." Kurt comments. "Which begs the question of whether I'd be stuck being Mrs. Lovett or not." Blaine smirks at him again.

"Depends on whether you feel like wearing a dress or not." Blaine holds the razor out to Kurt, who takes it with a grim smile. "Welcome to Dalton Academy, Kurt."

* * *

Blaine, Wes, and David spend the next two weeks training Kurt. They have assignments during that time and they have Kurt tag along as an observer. After the fourth time he tags along, Wes and David dump their target into a chair in the basement.

Turns out that murdering people in their beds isn't really their style. They prefer chloroform, dragging them into the basement, and then killing them there. It's easier to clean up, as Blaine tells him, and then they don't have to haul a bloody corpse down a flight of stairs.

After they've tied the junior to the chair and stepped back, Blaine pulls out a razor. It's new, this one, with Kurt's initials engraved on the blade. Kurt smiles at him and takes it.

"This is your kill, Kurt. We've taught you as best we can, so the rest is up to you." Kurt nods at Blaine's words and steps up behind the student in the chair, flicks open the razor and holds it to the kid's throat.

A deep breath and Kurt drags it across quickly. The kid doesn't even have a chance to draw breath to scream before he's dead. Kurt steps back and pulls out a handkerchief to wipe the blade clean while Wes and David dispose of the body.

Blaine comes up to him and wraps an arm around his shoulders. "Not bad for your first time, Mrs. Lovett. We might make a murderer of you yet."

Kurt gives him a smile, tucks the razor away, and drops the handkerchief on the chair to be taken care of.

* * *

It's not until Kurt goes home for Christmas, he notices how much Dalton has changed him. His humor is more morbid, he's quieter and when he does speak, it's laced with barbs and back-handed compliments. He keeps more to himself than he did before and spends his time alone polishing his razor.

When Finn catches him with it out, Kurt doesn't even think to panic. He explains that it's a welcome to the Warblers gift. Odd, yes, but they were an odd, somewhat old-fashioned bunch and shaving by straight razor was just on the list of things they did.

Finn shrugs it off as a private school thing and lets it go.

Even with Finn leaving him alone after that, Kurt's still more than a little relieved to be back at Dalton. They get their next assignment the night they're back. It's Kurt's roommate, James. Blaine offers to let Kurt skip out on it but Kurt turns him down.

"He hogs the bathroom, refuses to share any counter space, and is further in the closet than Karofsky." Kurt says dismissively. "The guy is a waste of space. A large waste of space, which means we'll have our work cut out for us when getting him downstairs, but a waste of space nonetheless." Kurt pauses and grins. "Besides, then I'll have the room all to myself." Blaine smiles at him and Wes and David get to work.

It's almost a shame, Kurt thinks, that James is so _pretty_. That was one reason why he hasn't objected to killing James. Whether the boy has realized it or not, he is competition and Kurt Hummel does not suffer much in the way of competition.

The only difficult part of James' disappearance is playing the role of the roommate who misses him, but Kurt's always been a fantastic actor. He plays the part to perfection in public and gleefully burns all of James' pictures in private.

They have a lapse in assignments for a while and Kurt misses it. He finds himself quickly distracted, however, when Blaine asks him out one evening.

Blaine takes him out for dinner away from the school to a steakhouse and makes a joke about how they've been having far too much of the other red meat recently. It's surprisingly not awkward and goes fairly smoothly and Blaine's the perfect gentleman, dropping Kurt at the door to his room and leaving with a quick kiss, ignoring all the not-so-subtle hints Kurt makes about his lack of a roommate. It's frustrating as hell and Kurt shoots Blaine's back an annoyed look as he lets himself into his room.

The second the door's closed, though, there's a cloth over his mouth and he draws breath to scream before he recognizes the scent as chloroform and passes out.

Kurt wakes up tied to the chair in the basement with Wes and David standing there, staring at him.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but should I be up there with you instead of in the chair?" is what Kurt intends to say, but the words are stopped short when he realizes he's been gagged, and, with a quick glance down to confirm it, with his own tie, no less.

"Listen, Kurt, we like you a lot, and Blaine does too, but we don't want you to hurt him. Or vice versa." Wes says.

"We know you don't intend to, but we figured we'd make the appropriate threats and scare you a bit." David explains when Kurt shoots them a glare. "We'll untie you now." And they do. Kurt rubs at his wrists and is in the middle of redoing his tie when one of the doors opens.

It's the head cook and David, Wes and Kurt all gesture towards the freezer in the corner. The man nods and Kurt goes back to focusing on his tie.

"Is this all that's in here?" the cook asks and they nod. "Alright, I'll let the headmaster know we're running low again."

Once the man's gone, they all nod and leave through different doors.

* * *

The four of them hit their stride after that. Kurt and Blaine date in public, and, along with Wes and David, continue with their business in private.

Then comes the assignment that they've been dreading. Turns out one of the teachers has been snooping into Dalton's private business and needs to be "taken care of", to use Headmaster Charlton's phrasing. The teacher in question lives in the dorms, so that's easy, but the guy puts up a surprisingly good fight, which throws them off and nearly gets them caught.

"Jesus, that was close." Kurt mutters once the guy's dead and the body's been disposed of. "I've got blood on my face and I can feel the bruises forming on my back."

He uses the sink next to the freezer to wash his face and adjusts his tie only for it to be messed up again when Blaine spins him around and drags him in for a kiss that leaves Kurt reeling.

Kurt's had romantic notions of what his first time would be like. On top of a table in Dalton's basement was _not_ on that list. Wes and David stumbling in at one point and muttering _"oh thank god, finally!"_ was also not on the list of ways it could go.

But it was with somebody he loves, so Kurt supposes that that's worth something.

* * *

It seems like it's no time at all before spring arrives and graduation is around the corner for Blaine, Wes, and David. Kurt starts wondering what's going to happen when they graduate, and whether or not Dalton is the type of school to let them go without a fuss.

Then Blaine springs the news on him one day while they're organizing files in the basement.

"I'm being held back."

"Come again?" Kurt asks, trying not to get his hopes up.

"I'm being held back. So are Wes and David. Apparently, there hasn't been a more efficient team than the four of us in decades." Blaine explains. Kurt's not surprised. While it's shoddy at best, there are records kept for what they do. In the few months since Kurt has joined, the number of files have doubled and are easily twice any of the other groups.

"So, we'll all graduate at the same time, then. Excellent." Kurt nods to himself before a thought occurs to him. "They aren't going to let us go, you realize? They'll have us train our replacements and then have us 'taken care of'." Blaine blinks at Kurt like this thought hadn't occurred to him and Kurt sighs. "What happened to the senior before you?" Kurt can see the second Blaine realizes. The blood drains out of his face and he gives Kurt a horrified look.

"No."

"Yes. I've been going through the files. Every last one of the former team members ended up in the freezer." Kurt explains. Blaine's eyes widen and he gulps.

"Shit." Blaine mutters. "Anything we can do?" Kurt shakes his head.

"Nope. Might as well enjoy the time we have left doing this." Blaine nods and they grin when an envelope slides out of the mail chute and onto the table. Their next assignment has begun.

* * *

Summer break is something Kurt normally would be excited for, but he misses Dalton. The lack of anything to do is annoying and he laments this fact to Blaine as often as he can over Skype and phone calls and text messages and Blaine just gives him an amused smirk and changes the subject.

Towards the end of June, when it's really starting to get to Kurt and he's taken to spending all of his time playing with his razor, Blaine, Wes, and David all show up in Wes' SUV with smiles that tell Kurt that they've turned their extracurricular at Dalton into their new summer activity. Kurt grins and goes along with them. The person knocked out cold in the very back of the car is the very reason Kurt went to Dalton in the first place.

"We figured that if anyone needed to be taken care of, it was him." Wes explains when they get out of the car in front of a large brick building. It's the old mental hospital that was abandoned some twenty years before when someone figured out that having a wing of the modern hospital was cheaper than the upkeep on the one they stand in front of now.

"There's plenty of rooms and no one around for miles. We can take our time with this one." Blaine decides. Wes and David haul Karofsky inside and drop him on one of the tables that had been used for electroshock treatments. They use the straps to restrain him before digging out the rope and using that for good measure.

When Karofsky awakens, Kurt's sitting on a stool next to the table, flicking the razor open and closed to the rhythm of 'Bad Romance' because it's in his head.

"Good morning, Dave." David says in his best HAL impression and Wes rolls his eyes behind him. Kurt waves to indicate that they should leave him and they acquiesce, Blaine giving Kurt a look that says he clearly doesn't think this is a good idea.

"Hello, Karofsky." Kurt gives the jock a smile that would have better men running for their lives and tucks the razor away. "It's been a while. How are you? Out of the closet yet? No? Too bad. I'm sure Azimio would love to know his best friend is gay."

"What do you want, fag?" Karofsky scowls and Kurt just keeps smiling. He knows only one of them is walking out of the room alive at the end of the night and that it won't be Karofsky.

"What do I want? Well, first, I think I want you to suffer the same blows in life you dealt me. But that would take too long. And we don't have a dumpster or a slushie maker here, so we'll skip right to the locker slams, the punches, and maybe even the kiss." The hockey player pales and Kurt's smile turns malicious. "I think we'll start with the locker slams. David, Wes, can I get your assistance?"

The two come in and release Karofsky from the table before tying his hands in front of him. Kurt nods to them in thanks and turns back to Dave.

"Time to begin," he says and shoves as hard as he can towards the wall. Karofsky crashes into it with a thud loud enough that Blaine opens the door and leans his head in, looking alarmed. Kurt waves him off, rights Karofsky, and shoves him again. This repeats (with various punches and kicks thrown in) for twenty minutes before Kurt stops, the smile replaced by a scowl. "How do _you_ like it?" he sneers.

Karofsky's shaking, looking at Kurt with frightened eyes.

"Aw, where's your tough guy act now, Karofsky?" Kurt raises his hands to shove him again, but stops himself before he can. Instead, he gets the hockey player back on the table and pulls his razor out. "I'm done with you."

Kurt takes a deep breath, musters his strength, and drags his razor across Karofsky's throat.

It's quick, it's not exactly clean, but it's quick, and it's over with before Kurt can fully comprehend what he just did. Wes and David come in to help dispose of the body and Kurt slips out of the room.

Blaine finds him on the front stairs of the hospital, staring out at the woods that surround the complex and fiddling with his razor.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I should never have dragged you into this." Blaine sits next to him and wraps an arm around his shoulders.

"This," Kurt gestures to himself with the half-open razor before he goes back to flicking it open and closed. "This isn't your fault. This is the result of him and Azimio and Puckerman and every other person in McKinley High School. This is what happens when you're stuck being the only out kid in a town full of homophobes who have nothing better to do than torment the gay kid." Kurt pauses before he gives Blaine a self-deprecating smile. "This is a better result than I'd hoped for. If it hadn't been for you, I would have been using this," Kurt holds the razor up, "on myself rather than other people a long time ago."

"Kurt, I—"

"Don't, Blaine. Don't apologize for something you can't control, don't you apologize for getting me into this, and don't you fucking _dare_ apologize for them either. This is me making my peace with it. Let it go." Blaine swallows and nods.

They head home after that and Kurt catches a snippet of a report on the morning news the next day.

_"David Karofsky was found dead in a dumpster behind the local 7-11 with his throat cut and covered in slushie early this morning. Preliminary investigations suggest it was a gang fight..."_

_Yeah_, Kurt thinks distractedly. _I've made my peace._

* * *

They don't do it as often as they do at school, but every couple of weeks, when the urge manages to get to them again, the four pile into the car and pick a target. The second time is one of Blaine's bullies. The third is Azimio, the fourth another of Blaine's. When they get back to school, it's a relief for all of them.

They do their assignments, they train their replacements, and they bide their time. The plan had been formulated over the summer, on the way back from one of their trips out to the institution. They'd all "go home" over a weekend and take off for the state line the second they were out of sight of Dalton.

Kurt and Blaine have their anniversary and celebrate by going out to the steakhouse again. Blaine makes the same awful red meat joke again and Kurt still laughs. They spend the night after that in Kurt's bed, since the school never assigned him a new roommate after James.

At Christmas break, Kurt goes home for a couple of days before the urge strikes him and he finds himself playing with his razor more than ever. He slips one day and nicks his finger. Despite how disgusted he is by the blood of their targets, Kurt finds himself rather fascinated by his own. He watches as it drips from the tip of his finger onto his sheets and stain the mattress underneath.

It's entrancing in the oddest sort of way. It's a reminder of his own mortality and the proverbial guillotine that's waiting to fall.

* * *

Then disaster strikes and David disappears. Wes panics for the first time _ever_. Blaine explains to Kurt that Wes and David knew each other long before Dalton and that Wes is at more than a little of a loss at what to do without David.

A week later, they get a slightly garbled phone call from David, explaining that they'd come after him earlier than planned and that _"you guys need to get the fuck out of there, **now**"_.

They decide to go through with the original plan and "head home" that weekend. The plan has them taking separate cars, then pulling off and switching to the old used car that they have parked out at the mental institution outside Lima. They pack lightly, Kurt opting for less vibrant and "out there" clothes, to minimize attention. He sticks to loose jeans, monochrome colors, and doesn't bother packing hair products. He grabs pictures of his friends, both in New Directions and the Warblers, and the fake driver's licenses and papers they'd hidden in Kurt's room.

By the time school resumes on Monday, Blaine, Wes, David, and Kurt have all withdrawn, and, instead, Roger Hamilton, Patrick Hoffman, Bernard Howard, and Elijah Andrews are all crashing at a hotel on the outskirts of Chicago's suburbs.

An article is printed in Lima's local paper about the tragic car accident that resulted in the deaths of four high school seniors, recognized only by the license plates on the car and the IDs found inside.

* * *

"I hate having to leave them like that," Kurt mumbles into the coffee cup he's holding, staring out the window to the car they're using. "They're all heart-broken. Dad, especially."

Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt from behind and hugs him, stretching up to rest his chin on Kurt's shoulder. "Nothing we could do, love. I'm sorry." Kurt sighs and reaches back to smack his boyfriend.

"How many times have I told you not to apologize over this?"

"More than I can count." Kurt rolls his eyes and steps away from Blaine to turn to Wes.

"Wes, how many times?"

"At last count, thirty-four. Thirty-five, counting just now." Wes replies, flipping through the newspaper in front of him. "Found our next target, guys." He holds up a section of newspaper with an article about a local criminal who, according to the physical description, is shorter than Blaine. Kurt grins and starts playing with his razor.

"Let's get to work."


End file.
